Protection

Ali G on Abortion

Funny :)

Decisions, decisions...

True Story

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"

Have Fun

Have fun in whatever is starting up for you atm.

Uni, work, high school, band tours, absolutely nothing.

THE MADHAPPIES - Time Off

Reposted from Time Off



LOCAL ROCKERS The Madhappies’ music could well be the long-lost aural twin of cricketer Brett Lee.

With tunes on their debut album Bad Motivator ranging from INXS-style grooves to punk rockers to Keith Richards solos to upbeat pop melodies, the four-piece authentically cover most areas within the rock’n’roll canon.

“We have our own unique style and don’t limit ourselves to one music genre,” drummer Jerry Madhappy explains. “We appreciate most styles of music and as for the groove, well that’s just natural. You could say that we’re trying to follow in Brett Lee’s footsteps, appealing to all sorts of audiences, from the cricket crowds to Bollywood.

Bad Motivator revolves around a central, futuristic theme, and coupled with some awesome artwork, the album feels like the soundtrack to a science-fiction comic strip.

“While recording the album,” Madhappy explains, “we found that most of the time was spent watching [vocalist/guitarist] Paulie’s extensive catalogue of DVDs on his portable player. While looking at all the songs, watching sci-fi movies, and not being able to get a cheap haircut anywhere, the theme of big business shitting on the little guy seems to be the way the future is headed.

“We got a graphic design friend of ours to put it all together for us. It made it easier to work with someone who knew what we were about and who knows us personally. It also helped to get it at mates rates, most of which we still haven’t paid yet.”

Before embarking on an East Coast tour, the lads are doing an instore performance at Rockaway.

“We are promoting our debut album Bad Motivator,” Madhappy says, “and are set to kick off our New South Wales tour with one last all-ages show. With Bad Motivator available at Rockaway right now, on the day you will also be able to get yourselves some awesome Madhappies merchandise.”

The Madhappies appear in-store at Rockaway from midday Sunday Feb 25. Bad Motivator out now independently.

No Direction, Period

Hey, I just discovered a little known fact about Bob Dylan. Sure everyone knows that he wrote a lot of great hits like, Blowin' in the Wind, Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, and Like a Rolling Stone, but did you know that Bob Dylan was actually responsible for every popular song in the last thirty-five years! Don't believe me, take a look at the video. Astounding.

Euphemism Generator

I stumbled (nothing to do with Josh's crazy internet cult) across this kewl site. Hours of fun to be had by all.

http://www.walkingdead.net/perl/euphemism

"The last time I had this much fun, I was exorcising the coconut-cream captain."

Confession the tenth: I'm Not Paranoid

I’m not paranoid. I’m just adequately cautious I think, in this day and age. In this day and age you have to be. In this day and age, we are more vulnerable than ever, more vulnerable than ever in the history of the world. Aren’t you afraid? Don’t you watch TV? You really should. It will open up your eyes to all the things in this world that you really should be aware of, that you should be worried about. These are real things. They wouldn’t just put it on TV just for the hell of it, would they? I’m thankful that they find it in their hearts just to warn us of these impending perils in our society, otherwise how would we know about them? How would we know? Oh, that reminds me, I forgot to lock the door. You have to lock your door, all the time, otherwise who knows who could just walk right in and just help themselves to whatever they wanted, and I do mean, whatever they wanted. It’s a real danger. Who knows what might have happened to me, if I hadn’t been so stringent in locking my door all the time. I have bars on all the windows too. My friends say it looks like I’m living in a prison cell, but I’d rather sacrifice a few aesthetic niceties for the comfort and protection that those bars and reinforced locks afford. The other day on the news, they covered a story about a house break in, not too far from here actually, well, the other side of the city, but close enough to home to get my guard up alright. I don’t know how people can still, after all that has been televised about break-ins and robberies, still keep their doors open, welcoming intruders into their homes, their homes! You don’t know who could come walking by. Anyone really is a potential intruder. I don’t like it. I want to be safe, if not in my own home, then where? [More...]

Under Attack???

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

Snopes Page

Bring your Mum, for some Friday night fun!

Fiddle di dee, fiddle di dum,
Friday night you will come
Do some coke,
Drink some rum.
See some bands,
Have some fun!

Friday 16th Feb come to The Alley Bar in Mil-ton, 7pm till the morning sun, seven bucks and bring your Mum!

Bush = Peace

Imagine...



More songs available here.

Bless You!

Confession the fifteenth: The Hole in the Yard

I’m not from here. I’m an alien. But not in the social sense, like an illegal alien smuggled from another country, in to the city, on the run from the authorities, no, no. I am an alien in a completely literal sense. I’m a real life alien. I’m not from this planet. I’m not even from this solar system. How do I know? Well, I don’t really know for sure. It’s just this feeling I get. I know, I know. You think I’m insane don’t you? But please, I ask you only this: do not judge me until you’ve heard my story, my complete story, which I will try to convey to you tonight, on this dreary night of November. In actual fact, I have no idea really. I tend to be drawn to theatrics and crazy ideas. Isn’t everyone? In reality, in all actuality, I’m just a writer. I’m just a lonely old writer trying to make his way in the world, just like everyone else. I am nothing special. I am nothing out of the ordinary, but oh! imagine, imagine what it would be like if, that’s what I do all the time. What if this? And what if that? All kinds of fantastical alternate realities open up, but really, in the end, when the eyes come from the page and the fingers creep away from the keys, what is left? That is the enigma; that is the dilemma; that is all that is, all that is tragic in this workaday world, the gap, that palpable gap, that exists between what could be, what should be, and what is. There are some moments, rare moments indeed, where that gap shrinks away almost to nothingness. Those are the moments I hold on to dearly, though they are but few. I do want to tell you a story however; I am a writer after all, trying to make it in this wretch of a city. It is not an easy task, though I do not expect anything to be much of a breeze in this city, mind you. I will tell a story no doubt though, and I’ll tell one soon. It will most certainly not be my whole story, but a mere part, a mere happening that happened not long ago. Or did it? I am a writer after all. I don’t believe a thing of written word. Give me a drunkard in a dingy, dirty, disgusting bar any day over a carefully constructed story or fable. I would wager you would find more sincerity than could fill a glass from an old madman at a bus stop than the entire western cannon of literature, but that’s just me, and who am I? Merely a writer? Merely and alien, from outer space? [More...]

How to keep from gettin' the blues this Friday

Come on down to the Milton Bowling Alley this Friday night to bowl a few games with friends and laugh the night away.

We'll be there from around 7pm and while we're not bowling, we'll be watching The Incredible Strand, Darth Mojo, and Cathartic Effect playing in the Alley Bar.

The Madhappies go on after everyone's too drunk to bowl :)

Hope to see you there.

Hello guys!

Hey, my name is Ocean. I'd like to offer you a beer. Hands up if you love Coopers!

Spiders On Drugs

A very informative study, with some surprising results.

The Race to Ban What's Bad For Us

Trans fat, smoking, foie gras--what's next?

"Is there any doubt that the infantilization of adults is one of the defining characteristics of contemporary politics?"

"...these bans reduce all of us to the status of children, incapable of making informed choices. Is it quaint to suggest that there's something wrong with that in a country founded on the idea of the individual's rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?"

...read the full story

Boris!

Smash and I adopted a monkey, named Boris. He's 2 yr old Russian monkey. However is currently enrolled in an AA group as we don't trust him to be left alone with Medea when we move. He has a bit of a drinking problem, which isn't so much of a problem except he can get a little out of hand with his violence. He also chain smokes even more than usual when drunk. If Boris makes it thru the AA successfully we won't be making him attend anger management classes before being left alone with Medea. You all have to come meet Boris when we move into our new place!!!!

Which for the record we got an apartment in Wooloowin and move 3/2/07!! yay!!

Come