Perfect 10 party

Information for registered users of this Blog only:

LAWN BOWLS FANCY DRESS PARTY!

I imagine after reading that heading you're thinking "Oh God... What the hell have I gotten myself into this time?". Well, that's a fair question to be asking, but the only way to get an answer that may also answer further questions that arise from a simple answer, would be to COME TO THE PARTY!

Now you're probably thinking "Why should I go to the party?". If you are... you ask too many questions, and that means you make me give too many answers, and that takes up my time. "What's that got to do with me?" you ask yourself? Well, time is money - so I expect you to all pay me for reading this invitation.

Moving on to a real answer as to why you should attend. One or more of the following things may tempt you into showing up.

- There will be alcohol

- There will be social interaction and activity

- There will be people in costume

- There will be cake*

- There will be lawn bowls

- There will be strippers**

Now for all you naysayers, I have two strong words for you - "Come on". The main reason you should come along isn't even the fact that's it's a party. It's the fact that this is Meg's farewell, her goodbye, her departure, her parting, and wouldn't it make sense to turn up and give her your best before she buggers off to Europe again?

Just in case that's not a good enough reason - we added 1400*** other excuses/reasons to have this party. These excuses/reasons may include but are not subject to the following:

- Internet porn

- The fact that tomato sauce comes in squeeze bottles

- If you stare at the sun for a while then look away, you get funny little dots in your vision

- Batman Begins SUCKED

- Red and green are traditional Christmas colors

- There will be a sequel to Fantastic Four

- People sue McDonalds for their own poor lifestyle choices and laziness making them fat

- Good old traditional magazine porn

- Soft drinks in cans stay cold longer

- John Howard is a puppet

- Kermit The Frog is also a puppet, but is supposed to be

- The word "palindrome" should have been a word that was actually a palindrome

- The kind of porn that comes on video or DVD

For those of you wondering why it's a costume party, which by the way is mandatory****. It's because Meg will be missing Halloween, and that's just not fair. Think about it, would YOU want to miss the only time of the year that people dress up in weird costumes and get completely wasted?

If anyone is upset that this invitation isn't on pretty invitation paper - feel free to photocopy it onto pretty invitation paper.

Details and things to remember:

- Please R.S.V.P no later than the 19th of August 2005 as we need to be 100% sure on the numbers for the booking.

You can R.S.V.P to either Meg - moraggep@gmail.com or Shantell - gremlin69@gmail.com or you can call them if you have their phone numbers

- The party is being held at the Chermside Bowls Club at 3pm on The 27th August 2005

- There will be a slight cost involved, and that slight cost is $10. This is due to that fact we have to hire the bowls club for the night. Please pay this money to Shantell or Meg

- Be warned you will also have to play a game of lawn bowls - so make sure your costume doesn't restrict your movement, or cause parts of your body to fall out here and there

(ie. ass crack, tits) because no one really needs to see that while they're trying to concentrate on their game, unless they're playing a game of "Spot The Ass Cracks And Tits".

We look forward to seeing you there!

* I've not actually been told if there'll be cake or not - that is just an assumption, please don't take it as gospel.
** This is an outright lie
*** 1400 is just a number that sounded good, it's not true... No one else even had any knowledge I was adding those reasons for the party. In fact, most (read: all) of them aren't even real reasons for having the party. They were only added because I'm an idiot. Some of them really are good reasons to have a party though... (The real reasons are: 1. Meg’s Going away; 2. Halloween; 3. Christmas; 4. New Year’s Eve; 5. John H’s, 6. Phil’s, 7. Shantell’s, 8. Jerry’s, 9. John A’s and 10. Amanda Sam’s birthdays. All of which Meg will be missing)
**** Seriously, if you don't wear a costume - don't bother showing up. I know that sounds harsh, but it's just a waste of time for the people who DO come in costume if the other half of people don't even bother to put in any effort.